What now?

I guess after year of looking at music and books took a toll on my eyes because I now done some nifty reading glasses! I have never seen my music or words from books so clear in my life as I can remember it. I even get less headaches from reading and studying (ok maybe not studying but reading definately a huge improvement there!).

The weeks are nearing to a huge build up at school...the first orchestra concert in the brand new Concert Hall. I'm nervous as heck but excited that I will be able to play in such an event at my school. We're doing an interesting program that includes Mahler's "Titan" Symphony.

Working with a group of musicians this vast is a almost a new experience for me. I'm going to be performing on stage with a diverse group of musicians ranging from non majors to professionals. It's not everyday that you get to do such a thing, and I'm not going to let my fear of the stage affect me this time. Oh no. I'm actually learning ways to deal with my intensive fear (and unfortunately I believe it does not involve some sexy wiccan lesbian magic)


(do you know how hard it was to find some with those two and magic without Tara getting shot???)

Well...where was I?

Right so I'm learning some voodoo magic powers to cure myself...but not really.

I will be thrown into a 2 week frenzy of rehearsals, late nights with no satisfaction (unless...it looks like this:


Ending with hopefully a grand concert...

So it has been 2 weeks into the Fall semester of 2008...and a shitload of situations have come by.

First thing first, I have a brand spanking new trumpet professor. Supposedly my past year and half of work with my previous master means nothing now...not. It means everything, and now I just suck it up and play on because that's what I'm supposed to do. There are bigger and badder things out that I will have to deal with...although this one has hurt me down to the core being of my existence.

I have a brand spanking new job at my school. We (meaning the Performing Arts Department) have moved into the brand spanking new building. It's an awesome building with a music library down in the lower level with several practice rooms. As of now, I have been working 3 times a week down in the music library unpacking boxes upon boxes of CDs, LPs, cassettes, DVDS, VHS, orchestral scores, choral scores, music books, jazz scores, and band scores. It's amazing really...I get excited ever time I'm down there...and come home tired as heck.

Classes are ok. I'm not too thrill about any of them, nor am I disappointed. I'm still in a state of mind where nothing seems to be clicking. I'm taking Advanced Theory and Harmony I which after coming off a summer of not checking up on anything...is difficult. I'm taking Ear Training III with another professor (who I happen to enjoy...not just because she was my former trumpet teacher). I'm taking Major Composers of the 17th and 18th century which is getting interesting. I have British Literature II in which I'm reading Robinson Crusoe...yeah not going so well. I'm also taking statistics which is slightly annoying at times. On top of that I have Orchestra and Jazz Ensemble...which are both demanding much of my time.

I'm actually going to see if I can grab a practice room to play in tomorrow before jazz because I need to sit down and go over everything for both classes.

I'm exhausted and it's only 9:05...

Little update

School is starting up in about 2 weeks. I'm struggling with tution problems, scheduling problems, and just summer problems. I don't want my summer to end...I don't feel like I had a decent summer. I haven't gone to the beach once because everytime my family went I was still slumbering away from late nights at work. I know the best time to go to the beach is in the morning but I'm just not a morning person. I cannot function properly before 8 AM without getting sick.

I am a bit burnt out from working all summer. It has been a constant grind at the theatre with in the past week with several problems. One night we went over an hour because sound check went to 15 minutes before showtime, we had a heart attack in the lobby, and last night we had an altercation between a disgruntled/drunk patron and an usher and security. I've been cut my last week of august to focus on my first week back to Adelphi.

As of now, I'm supposed to be the work study student with the jazz band. I'm hoping this still stands because I can use the extra money for instrument care and music needed throughout the year.

I've sorta hit a dead point in playing trumpet this week. I am supposed to be cleaning up my piece, listening to it alot...but I just wanna rest! THis is my last week with my summer lessons, so if I can give it all I got in the next three days...I can rest for a week and just collect my mind and shit.

I really believe in just taking a break. Maybe I'm just stupid or lazy, but my philosophy is give it hard, and then rest a lot. Everyone needs a day off or a few days off. I've been really swamped in my life...I have no focus on anyhting...and I need to collect it before going insane before Halloween with Ratdog doing two shows...

The higher notes

If you play an instrument can you remember when you first started out? Or if you're starting one right now, you know how frustrating it is to strive to hit the higher notes, shred a killer solo, move at the speed of light. I was running through a few exercises from my Clarke Book of technical studies and I remember about 4 years ago sitting in the basement of the local music store playing alongside of Bob my teacher. I was always amazed at how easily he could study 1 at tempo markings faster than expected. I also can remember struggling to hit a g off the staff.

As I was playing, I flew through study one at the marking of 150 and suddenly remember the above memory. The frustration of just not getting it. The amount of times I punched my music stand because I couldn't play fast at marking 100. The amount of times I screamed "fuck" out to no one but the posters on my walls. It's amazing really to have the chance to see how hard this exercise was and how it is for me now. I'm not saying I'm amazing at it...I haven't tried doing tempo marking 112 half note.

Also as I progressed further into the study I hit number 20 and 21 and remember how hard of time I had trying to squeeze out a slurred g off the staff...better yet squeeze a g off the staff period. I found this feat to be quite amazing. I find the process of developing as a musician and gaining the skills needed to be fascinating. Why, there are days where a high C seems like nothing to me (but anything beyond that still boggles my mind and chops).

I'm not an amazing trumpet player as I boasted that I was in high school. I'm not the amazing trumpet player that my high school teachers relied on. I'm not the amazing trumpet player that made me out to be by words and hype. I was just a girl with a horn struggling to hit a damn g off the staff.

I can hit it now without much trouble...and I'm proud of myself for it. Hype and the weight of departments on my back aside...I'm proud of the work that I've put into the past 4 years so I can say...yeah I can hit a clean strong g off the staff.

Pocket Black book

A few days ago I started to keep a log of my practice times. I was reading on the board how you should monitor your time to see if you are practicing "enough" or doing more damage than good.

On the first page I have just my times followed by how many minutes it was. Then I started to put down my schedule of what I wanted to accomplish that day...

For example

7/11/08
1:50-2:32
6:34-7:10 PM

Run Through Hummel
Page 4, brackets
slow on the 8th note into triplet run
take down the last bracket an 8va
connect on the first page
trill-measured trill

Then I got bored of having a schedule to follow so I just listed what I did that day

7/15/08

Louis Davidson-warm up
Kopp exercises
Arban's scales exercises
-Major
-Minor
-Chromatic
M/m/+/o triads

that was just one part of the day. I started to do sets of 20 or more minutes with lots of rest in between. I miss school sometimes because I know I'm in a practice for 1 hour or 2 hours...even if I'm not playing I have the instrument in hand, fingering the piece, listening to the piece...all that is practice to me. Also I tend to play more in practice at home during the school year because I'm used to playing so much.

Maybe I'm just lazy or maybe it's my job and fatigue creeping up on me. I haven't had a vacation over a day in 3 years (as in a vacation where I went somewhere and chilled out). I haven't been to the beach yet, I haven't gone fishing yet, I haven't done a lot of summer things yet because I'm tired and at work. My "part time" job has turned into a full time job with part time pay...(I barely work 40 hours a week...I think I made 41 hours last summer one week...and I got the overtime...I hung up that pay stub for a while cause I thought it was awesome).

Whatever it is...it's no excuse.

But I can tell you one good thing...

I'm now certified to be a Brownie Girl Scout leader. I went for 6 hours of training yesterday and today...I have 3 more to go for my cerification in girls 11-17. But nonetheless I now can take charge of little girls selling boxes of cookies and go caving...

yes I said caving.

Anyways, I like my black book. It's keeping me on track and i will now and then write my thoughts on certain parts of the piece. I'm off to brush up on some music history because my professor is about to rip my head off for not remembering her course...

DAMN THE ACCIDENT!!

PoJ

Yes I know I'm behind

If you are reading this blog you have notice it has gone through several updates.

I am no longer caling it "Inside the Psyche of a Jazz Trumpet Chick"

Why was it called "Broken Heart Musician" for a bit?
My girlfriend and I broke up and then got back together...hence the Johnny Cash song. But now I am writing in "The World of a Trumpet Girl"

What have I been doing?

Between work, the girlfriend, trumpet, Liberty games, and now Met games, I have been living life as it comes. I recently joined Trumpetmasters.com which is an online trumpet forum. I haven't posted much up there, but there is such a fountain of knowledge over there. Trumpet players-beginners to professionals, from all over the globe come together and talk...trumpet.

It's fascinating to read what others think about the trumpet and several practices, as well equipment and the like. There are debates about Bach Megatones (Are they really worth the hype or not), there are debates on brands of mutes (Tom Crown vs Humes and Berg). It's really amazing...and the best part-it's full of well thought out answers (of course there is the one or two whiners who start shit on the board...)

I used to be on a lesbian board called kimandkerry.com.It was a community of lesbians of all ages. I was only 14 when I joined and felt like I was one of the more mature "tweens" they would call us. I never started a fight with others like some of the teens there...then again several fights were caused by the more "mature" posters.

I miss the KK board, it mysteriously disappeared about a year ago, so I was excited to find this board. While I'm not used to the set up (I think I was spoiled by the well organized structure of KK.com) it's a community I've been longing for.

I don't know if I had mention this but I am tackling the Hummel Trumpet Concerto over the summer with the aid of my trumpet professor. It's actually quite demanding (but then again...I say most pieces are quite demandind). I'm halfway through my summer "school of trumpet" and I'm still on the first movement. I guess that good in a way...or bad

Pros:
Intently studying the structure of the piece
Taking my time to nail it
Finding my expression within the piece
Understanding the piece

Cons
What if I had to learn the three movements in real life in a month? I'd be screwed!

I'm always still visiting my good old friends Haydn and Hindemith (there is that thing called "Senior Recital" so...yeah)

I went trumpet shopping and I found a Phaeton. I never heard of the brand in MY LIFE, but it's a nice sounding trumpet. I played on a range of trumpets from student models to professional models from 400 dollar trumpets to 3,000 dollar trumpets. I actually played a Bach Strad and quite personally it was very hard to blow through. I got a lot of resistence. I found that odd since my entire childhood of trumpet playing lead up to the Bach Strad.

Then again I am a rebellious persona in life so I guess meeting the Phaeton trumpet was fate.

If you ever seen this trumpet...it's interesting to look at.



It's a nice dark sounding horn...and affordable averaging around $1500. I think I fell in love with it when I played it. Very free blowing, and just amazing to play.

On that note, I do have some playing to do...until next time...

PoJ

Hurt- a damn good song

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way