Finally...

I finally got someone to say to my face "you're not really that good at trumpet." I was on the train with a classmate and we were talking/bitching about how the levels of muscianship is everywhere in jazz. I honestly came right out and said "i can be better, I can do better." and she said "yes, you can do better, you can warm up everyday, listen everyday, and practice everyday."

I'm in a dilemma, classical or jazz. I was writing about how I've finally been tamed by this musical creature, and she has me on a classical kick. I have the potential to be great, I know I do, I feel it inside. I can be a great classical trumpeter. I can also be a jazz trumpeter. But where do I go from here?

I'm working a lot on classical. I'm learning classical theory, I'm learning classical trumpet techniques. I can take the jazz theory class again and try to retain my memory, and if only there was more trumpet part in our jazz ensemble (yes, an actual jazz ensemble that all based really around the rhythmn section and vocalists. I only play 2 songs. What the fuck is going on??)

I have my audition in 2 days, I feel like I'm in a whirlwind of emotions. Not to mention my audition date is on Good Friday, do not make me go there...cause I will.